Haru Haru
by ccacancandcandi
Summary: Just a fanfic for my version of the story behind Big Bang's music video. Enjoy and feel free to comment :D
1. Prologue

Prologue

A young man enters the hospital with one hand clutching a bouquet of flowers. He is grasping it quite tightly; the tendons in his lean arms are visible and the knuckles of his right hand are bone white. He enters the elevator and halfway through he licks his dry lips and lets his right arm drop to the side, the newly bought flowers facing the ground. This day was a painful day for him, and it showed in his eyes.

At the same time a girl sits beside a white hospital bed and watches her sleeping brother. Her heart hurts seeing so many tubes and IV's strapped to such a young body. As she reaches a trembling hand to stroke her brothers face tears flow freely down her face.

In an attempt to stop the shaking she quickly clutches the sheets and lets out a shuddering breath. At that moment, she felt like she was the only living thing in the world, so she was startled when he heard a low voice coming from behind the curtain that circled her and her brother.

The young man entered the room where his mother was being held. He gently places the flowers in a glass vase and sets it on the table, along with a book and a card full of careful writing.

Sitting next to the limp form of his mother, he begins to speak.

"_Oma_," he says, "I know you can't hear me but, happy birthday. I got you a book you might like."

The next words were barely a whisper.

"I should have been a better son. I-I'm sorry." His eyes are burning but no tears come out. "I love you. Happy birthday."

Feeling slightly embarrassed that she heard everything, the girl hurriedly gathers her things and tries to briskly walk out the door. But doing so, her foot catches on a small depression the floor.

"Waaah!" The girl lets out a small shriek. Startled, but thinking quickly, the boy manages to grab her arm before she hits the floor.

Her feet firmly on the floor once again, she looks at the boy who steadied her. She sees a boyish good-looking face with warm eyes and black hair that flops over his forehead. The boy shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at he ground before asking in a gruff voice:

"Are you okay?"

"Ah! Ah, _yeh_! _Kamsahamnida_ . . . eh, _mianhe_ . . ."

Her face flushed bright red.

"That's good."

They were both awkward with each other, and both didn't know what to say.

"So, it's your mom's birthday?" the girl asked, in an attempt to break the silence. But as soon as it came out of her mouth she inwardly cursed at herself for such a bad comment.

"Ah, _yeh_ . . . so you heard everything."

"Sorry . . . I couldn't help but to hear." She bit her lip.

"_Gwenchanayo_. It's not your fault."

She remembered overhearing two hospital staff talking about a woman who fell into a coma after drug overuse recuperating in the same room as her brother. It didn't mean anything to her back then, but suddenly she felt very sorry for the boy standing next to her.

"So you know why I'm here, what about you?" asked the boy.

"My little brother, he's sick . . . I was just visiting."

"I see . . ."

The two talked and gradually, things became more natural. The girl let the boy see her brother, and the boy let the girl see his mother. They told each other their names; the boy introduced himself as Kwon Ji Yong, and the girl told him her name was Park Min Jae. They were both eighteen. They sat on the bench outside of the hospital room and told each other about themselves and their lives.

"My brother has a disease-a very rare disease." Min Jae told Ji Yong. She paused for a while, her dark hair covering her pale face. "He's going to die. He's only nine." Her voice was very small.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." Her voice wavered. "I'm sorry too."

Ji Yong spoke, his voice low. "My mom-after my dad left-she started taking painkillers." He swallowed. "We fought a lot. One day I came home, and . . . yeah. She's in a coma. The doctors don't know what's going to happen."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Min Jae's large eyes were full of sympathy.

"You shouldn't be. It's not your fault."

They stayed with each other at the hospital, even after the sky became dark. Min Jae's brother died that day. When she cried, Ji Yong wiped her tears and let her rest on his shoulder. He drove her home that day, and stayed in the apartment with her until she fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Ji Yong entered his girlfriend's apartment and immediately let out a happy yell before jumping onto the couch. He turned on the TV and stretched out his stiff muscles after a day of work.

After ten minutes of aimlessly flipping from channel to channel Min Jae came out of the bathroom, wearing a t-shirt and cotton shorts. Steam was still rising from her damp hair.

"_Yeobo_!"

"What are you saying, we're not married yet." Min Jae scoffed, but the smile on her face showed that she was teasing.

"Did you eat yet?"

"Not yet. _Oppa_, did you?"

Ji Yong shook his head. Smiling his crooked smile, he declared, "I'll make you something." He jumped off the couch and walked towards the small kitchen.

"Do you have any leftover rice?"

"_Yeh_, it's still in the pot." She could hear the refrigerator being opened.

After five minutes, Ji Yong brought a pan of kimchi fried rice over to the table. He handed her a wooden spoon and sat down.

"Ah, looks good." Min Jae was already chewing the first mouthful of her late dinner.

Ji Yong watched her eat and remarked, "You must be really hungry, or else you would be criticizing my cooking skills." He playfully ruffled her hair.

"Ha ha."

Ji Yong pulled his beat-up black backpack from under the table, and from it retrieved an equally beat-up composition book. He quickly flipped through the pages, revealing hundreds of lines of scribbled lyrics.

"I composed a new rap today. Tell me what you think."

He cleared his throat and began to rap.

"_Yeah, since you went away—Hasn't been the same._

_In my heart all I got is pain._

_Could it be that I played a game to lose you?_

_I can't maintain._

_Sunlight, moonlight, you lit my life. Realize in the night while love shines bright—_

_Can't let you go. We're meant forever baby, let me know."_

"It's good. All of your raps are always good."

Min Jae's eyes were full of thought. She propped her elbows in the table and looked Ji Yong in the eye.

"Thanks."

The two of them bent over the pan, hungrily devouring the meal. Halfway through, Min Jae stopped suddenly, trying to stop the nauseas feeling entering her body from showing on her face. She gripped the edge of the table, trying to get a hold of herself. Her thoughts were a haze, but she managed to force her body out of the chair and walk to the bathroom somewhat normally.

"Hey Min Jae are you okay?" called Ji Yong. She couldn't see his face but she could hear the worry in his voice.

"Yeah-fine!"

She bent over the toilet and tried to vomit as quietly as possible. Her breath came in great heaving gasps and her forehead was covered with a sheen of sweat. After her heart stopped hammering in her chest, she carefully picked herself off of the floor and walked over to the sink. Her whole body felt weak, as if she hadn't eaten for days. Ji Yong's faint calls echoed in her ears.

"Min Jae! Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine! Don't worry about me!" She turned on the sink and rinsed out her mouth with cold water. After taking a few shuddering breaths, she opened the door and walked back to the table.

Ji Yong was worried.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just needed to use the restroom." Min Jae knew how fake this sounded, but she needed him to believe her.

Ji Yong nodded. He didn't buy it, but he didn't push the issue any further.

Min Jae knew this and was thankful.

_"Oh, God." she thought. "How much longer can I hide this?"_


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Min Jae loved Ji Yong even more than she loved her brother. She let her mind wander back to the day they first met, which was also the day that her brother died. She knew he was going to die, knew what was inevitable. She knew how not being able to do anything felt, so that this was happening all over again was even more painful. Ji Yong was there for her, even though they were little more than strangers that day. From that day on, he had always protected her. He knew what she liked and what she hated. She too, also meant the world to him.

Min Jae could feel the disease creeping up on her, consuming her bit by bit. Soon there wouldn't be anything left.

She hadn't told Ji Yong anything, and she planned to keep it that way. It would kill him, and by that time she wouldn't even be there to piece him back together. The only way to make it better was to hurt him first, so he wouldn't hurt as much when she died.

In the back of her head, Min Jae knew that this plan was crazy; but it was necessary. She loved him enough to do what was best for him, even if Ji Yong would hate her.

_"It's not like I would have to endure it for very long," she thought, "I'll be dead by then."_

Quickly, before she could change her mind, she flipped open her cell-phone and made a call.

"_Yeboseyo_?"

"_Yeboseyo_? Is this Seung Hyun?"

"Hey Min Jae! What's up?" She could hear a ton of background noise and the faint sound of obnoxious laughter.

"Sueng Ri! Shut Up!"

Hearing this, she couldn't help but to smile. Ji Yong had some pretty awesome friends. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "_Oppa_, do you care about Ji Yong?"

"Of course I care about him. He's my homie." There was uncertainty in his voice.

"Min Jae? What's wrong?"

She barely forced the words out. "I-I have cancer."

"What? Are you okay? Does Ji Yong know?"

She kept quiet for a second, not quite knowing how to answer.

"Min Jae! Are you-"

"I'm not going to tell him. _Oppa_, please. I need your help."

A faint voice entered her ear-Young Bae.

"_Hyung_, what's going on?" The faint murmur of voices on the receiving line suddenly made her feel more self-conscious.

"_Oppa_, I need you to do me a favor. It's really important-you can't tell Ji Yong." She was aware that her voice sounded desperate but couldn't do anything to calm herself.

"I couldn't think of anyone else-please, you're the only one."

She bit her lip.

After a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Alright. What's your plan?"


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Seung Hyun parked his car in the apartment garage. He was so upset he didn't even play music on the way back. Instead, he spent the whole time thinking about the conversation he just had with Min Jae. How could she have cancer? She spent a lot of time with their crew and no one ever suspected anything. But now that he knew, he realized all the little things that could have gave it away-but it didn't matter. Her plan was crazy. As much as he didn't want to believe the things that were happening, he would always be aware of it now, now that he knew.

In the front seat of his car, in the dark, these thoughts circled in his head.

"Damn it!"

In frustration he slammed his hand into the steering wheel.

There was a small chance the plan could work, and if it did, there was a chance that he could spare Ji Yong.

_"Even if there really wasn't a chance, I'd still have to try." he thought. "Ji Yong would never forgive me, but it's for the best."_

Back in his apartment, he reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. Fingering the black studs in his ears, he pondered about what was to come.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ji Yong playfully licked Seung Ri on the arm.

"Ah, Hyung!" whined Seung Ri, quickly wiping off the spit with the back of his hand. The boys erupted into laughter.

"_Aissh_. Were you always this disgusting?" muttered Dae Sung. He scratched the back of his head with a tanned hand.

"You're wearing a wife beater on your two year anniversary?" asked Yong Bae. He had shades on, as usual. "Man, that's not cool." His eyes were full of fake contempt.

Feeling slightly self-conscious, Ji Yong glanced down at his clothes. He was wearing a sleeveless black shirt, and his bare arms hung by his sides, revealing the two tattoos on his inner arms. Below his destroyed jeans a pair of high-top nikes were carelessly shoved on.

Dae Sung switched his gaze over to Seung Ri, who was busily slurping up a cup of instant noodle.

"What? I didn't eat yet."

"I think you should borrow Yong Bae's glasses." he said, snatching Yong Bae's shades right off his face. "Those dark circles aren't getting any better."

"Hey. Give those back." Yong Bae squinted in the afternoon sun.

Ignoring them, Seung Ri eyed Ji Yong's shoulder. "You got a new tattoo?" He lifted the fabric slightly to get a better look. "Too fast to live . . . too young to die." he read. "Nice."

With a mischievous smile, Ji Yong yelled, "I'm gonna live long and die old baby!"

Thank God they were walking in a back alley or else he would've gotten a lot of stares.

If any stranger saw them, they would most definitely see a group of college age boys fooling around on the street. But below the happy facade, it was quite the opposite. They were tense and nervous for what was soon to come. Min Jae's plan could very well ruin their friendship. The only one oblivious to the storm ahead was Ji Yong.

"Sueng Hyun said he would meet us here, right?" asked Ji Yong. The group was almost to the meeting place.

"Uh, yeah."

Ji Yong walked around to corner expecting to see the familiar figures of Seung Hyun and Min Jae waiting for him and the others. But instead he saw the unimaginable_. _The blood rose to his head and he felt a heat rush. His mouth half open, in a daze, he watched as Seung Hyun raised one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Min Jae's ear. Quickly glancing at Ji Yong, she took a ring off of her fourth finger and placed it in his palm. His face contorting, Ji Yong unknowingly reached up to touch the matching ring on his left hand. He felt his old self creeping back up on him, the iron hard defenses slowly rebuilding around his heart. It seemed as if time had slowed down, making the painful seconds drag on for even longer. He walked over to Min Jae, his eyes as hard as diamonds and his gaze unreadable.

"Min Jae . . . why?"

"I just don't feel the same anymore . . . I'm sorry."

She refused to meet his gaze, and Ji Yong felt his heart crack in two.

Slowly and painfully, he tore his gaze away from Min Jae and looked over at Seung Hyun.

"Hyung-" Ji Yong stopped talking as soon as he saw the ugly smirk on his face. Suddenly, anger, white-hot and uncontrollable, broke lose.

"You fucking bastard!" screamed Ji Yong, an inch away from Seung Hyun's face. "What did you do?" He grabbed his shoulders shoved him against the alley wall.

Smiling wickedly, Seung Hyun spat in his ear, "You don't get it, man? You weren't good enough for her. She never loved you." He shoved a finger into Ji Yong's forehead and pushed, hard. He stumbled back. "Get it through your thick skull, man!"

Forming one hand into a fist, Ji Yong swung a hard punch at Seung Hyun. Feeling his knuckles connect with his face, he ran towards him to do it again.

After momentarily being dazed by the pain, Seung Hyun felt his own anger bubbling up. He forgot about the plan. That stupid bastard had punched him, for God's sake! With a roar of outrage he cocked his fist and swung at Ji Yong's head.

Ji Yong's head snapped back. Blood filled his mouth, and he angrily spat onto the asphalt. The two boys ran at each other, both looking to spill each other's blood.

Seung Ri had seen enough. He sprinted towards Ji Yong and pulled him back by his shirt. Hooking one arm around his chest, he tightened his fingers around his arm.

"Cut it out!"

Seung Hyun launched himself at Ji Yong, preparing to punch the hell out of him. Dae Sung's and Yong Bae's restraining arms held him back.

"Let me go!" The two glared at each other.

"Hyung, remember why you're here." hissed Yong Bae. His eyes were pleading.

Seung Hyun barely heard him.

Ji Yong struggled against Seung Ri's grip. Adrenaline filled his veins, and the pounding of his blood echoed in his ears. He wildly thrashed and felt an elbow connect. With a yelp of pain, Seung Ri let go of Ji Yong. Clutching his stomach on the ground, he merely watched as two of his best friends tried to kill each other.

Ji Yong had Seung Hyun by the collar and was shaking him. Blood leaked from his mouth and grime covered his face. On the asphalt, Seung Hyun was no better. He stared defiantly into Ji Yong's face, his mouth curved into a smirk.

Min Jae's eyes filled with tears. She covered her trembling mouth with a pale hand and forced herself to walk away.

The boys were thrown back, stopped by the rest of crew. Pinned against the wall, Ji Yong felt his adrenaline slowly subside. Clenching his teeth in anger, he kicked over a trash can, the contents spilling on the ground and letting out a terrible odor. Turning his back against his ex-friend, he broke free of Yong Bae's grip and walked away, not once looking back.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ji Yong entered his apartment in a daze. His breath came out in ragged heaves, and his hands were shaking from anger exhaustion. He fumbled his way into the tiny bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was streaked with dirt and sweat, and the right side of his face was marred by dozens of tiny scratches. His bruised jaw throbbed. Ji Yong gingerly touched his bottom lip with his thumb; it was split, and hurt like hell. He spit into the sink, staining the white ceramic with red. Laughing bitterly, he assessed his face. He looked pathetic.

Ji Yong's mind flashed back to three days ago when he got his tattoo. He was so blindly happy then, full of love, and wanting to live a long, happy life with Min Jae. Now he wordlessly traced his finger over the words inked onto his back. It was ironic really, how things had completely turned around within a few hours. Even if he wanted to-and could-forget about Min Jae, he could never get rid of this painful reminder grafted onto his skin.

With and anguished cry, he punched the reflection of himself in the mirror. His hand, already battered from the street fight earlier, began to bleed. Ji Yong blankly stared at the split knuckles and the jagged shards of glass sticking out from his skin.

_I miss her already._

He lowered his head and stared dry-eyed at the floor. He wanted to cry, but all of his tears seemed to have turned to stone and lodged in his chest. Ji Yong's mind flashed through all the happy memories he experienced with Min Jae.

_Laughing with her at the park until he felt as if his sides were going to burst . . . _

_Surprising her with a flower when shopping together at an outdoor market . . ._

_Enjoying kimchi fried rice at 10:00pm and fooling around in her apartment . . ._

_Min Jae, wordlessly handing over the matching couple ring he had bought for her, and _

_feeling like she had stabbed him in the chest._

Hours passed without Ji Yong even knowing it. Gripping a pencil awkwardly in his injured hand, he retrieved his composition book and began to compose. He desperately scrawled the words running through his head and scribbled down the bottled-up emotions. When he was done, he breathed heavily, as if he had just finished a hard work out. The words he had just written swam in front of his eyes. He closed the book with a thud, and with it, he vowed that those words would never escape from the paper. When he lifted the pencil from the paper, he promised that that would be the last time he would write another song, another rap. He wouldn't give Seung Hyun the satisfaction of seeing his pain.

Ji Yong sat heavily on the couch, his resolve hardening, along with his heart. The iron-hard defenses that Min Jae had peeled away began to grow back. He would never give his heart out again. If he did, it would only be broken.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Min Jae slid to the ground in her dark apartment. She hugged her knees to her chest, and tears silently spilled from her eyes and down her face. Running a pale hand through her hair, she saw that her fine black hair was already falling away between her slender fingers. She bowed her head between her knees and began to sob.

_Ji Yong I'm so sorry . . ._

She couldn't stop thinking about him. The way his face hardened when he saw Seung Hyun and her, the way his painful glance rested on her face. At that time, she couldn't even look at him.

_"I'm such a coward." she thought. "I can't even look Ji Yong in the eye anymore."_

Min Jae lowered her head between her knees. She wished she could just shrink into the ground and stay like this forever, thinking about nothing but breathing and unable to see anything but the ground. Through her blurred eyesight, she realized that teardrops were falling from her face, landing on the floor and splashing on her bare feet. She shivered. The apartment was cold.

Suddenly the silence was shattered by the obnoxious sound of her cell-phone ring-tone.

Quickly wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she flipped open her cell-phone and raised it against her ear.

"_Yeoboseyo?"_ Although she tried hard to erase all traces of crying, her voice was still thick.

"Hey Min Jae . . .wait, are you crying?"

"I'm not!" Min Jae struggled to keep her voice upbeat. "But Seung Hyun, are you okay? Ji Yong punched you pretty hard . . ."

"I'm alright. Just a few bruises and stratches . . . look, I'm really sorry it turned out this way. I didn't mean to get into a fight . . . I'm just really sorry."

"_Oppa_, it's not your fault. Things just happened the way they did. I-I'm just worried about Ji Yong. Tell Yong Bae to talk to him okay?"

Yong Bae was Ji Yong's closest friend since middle school. He is a warm person-Min Jae prayed that he would somehow prevent Ji Yong from falling into his old ways.

"But you're okay right? Min Jae, I'm really worried."

Seung Hyun's low voice penetrated her thoughts.

"I'm fine."

Seung Hyun didn't buy it. His brow creased with worry, but he backed off.

"Well okay . . . just go to sleep and try not to think." After saying their goodbyes, he hung up.

Min Jae dropped her cell-phone on the ground with a clatter. She resumed the position she was in earlier and tried not to think like Seung Hyun told her to. After two hours of deep breathing, her eyes closed from exhaustion and she fell into a fitful sleep on the apartment floor.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

A few days later, Ji Yong finally consented to be dragged to Itaewon to go clubbing, hoping the loud beats and stobe lights would help him forget the dull ache in his chest. As he sat in Young Bae's beat up sedan, trolling the garage for a place to park, he saw them; Seung Hyun sitting in his own car, and leaning next to him in the passenger's seat, Min Jae.

A hard lump formed in Ji Yong's throat as he tried to look away. But then, something caught his eye, and his eyes widened in anger as he zeroed in on the ugly leer that was spreading across Seung Hyun's face.

"Oh shit," muttered Daesung from the back. "Young Bae, _drive_."

But it was too late. Young Bae jerked the car to a stop as Ji Yong exploded from the passenger seat.

Meanwhile, Seung Hyun draped his arm across Min Jae's shoulders, carrying on with his act.

Ji Yong leaped onto the hood of his car and pounded the windshield with his fist.

"You know, its becoming really difficult to forgive you."

Seung Hyun let out a laugh as Ji Yong's muffled voice entered his ears.

"I never wanted your forgiveness. I just wanted your girl."

Enraged, Ji Yong could have strangled him to death at that instant, but instead he turned his gaze to Min Jae and said, "I hope you're happy Min Jae. You made me like this." He gestured to his stiff body as his tortured eyes locked onto hers.

A jolt went through Min Jae's body as Ji Yong mentioned her name. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to run to him and put his her arms around him. To press her face against his chest, to say that she had always loved him, to say that she was sorry. But she willed herself to stay seated in that car, as her eyes locked onto his pained ones with the same expression of indifference.

Her breath shook when Ji Yong peeled his gaze away from her face, as his friends dragged him away from her.


End file.
